For Now

I say this quite frequently — For now, this will be fine. For now, this is good. I’m ok with it this way, for now. Two little words that carry a ton of meaning.

FOR. There is purpose wrapped up in these three letters. Intention, will, focus and offering. This is FOR you. I do this FOR others, FOR myself, FOR my children. What is all this FOR? It is FOR our community, our family, our health, our bank account, our future well-being. Hopes, wishes, goals and purposefulness are all there in this small word.

NOW. Equally small, yet holding a universe, this word brings me in sharp focus into a moment I can actually touch and rest in. NOW is a time for us to really live our lives. NOW is the present which holds all our past and future. NOW we get to fully live, but we often squander it with worry about the future or regret over the past. NOW sweeps it all clean and says, “Here…come sit a spell in this chair, with this life, just as it is.“

I got a new spinning wheel! I can’t believe I now have a beautiful Ashford Traditional Wheel! I had been wanting one for a while…the shape of it, really, is what I loved, and the idea of painting another wheel seemed to suit the lovely shape so well.

As I spin on this new-to-me wheel and get to know its excellent properties (so different from my Louet which I promptly painted when I got it four years ago:), I find myself hesitant to paint it just yet. I say to myself and to my family who asks if I’m going to paint it…Yes, probably, someday…but for now I’ll leave it as it is.

I have pulled out a ton of scrap fabrics with the idea to make a quilt. I have laundered and ironed all the oddly shaped fabrics and have begun to cut squares wondering why in the world I think I need a quilt?! To what end is all this time making a simple scrap quilt going to lead me? What will it accomplish? Catching myself getting all spun up in future-tripping concerns, I happily concede that for now, it will be good to make a quilt.

I am learning more and more the goodness of living in the present moment. An overused phrase, it is under-used in our day-to-day practice. To be content for now, with things as they are is a wonder and joy to sink into. Even if NOW is difficult or painful…living for now strips the extra baggage and burden of what if? And why did? To live for now brings a sense of resting in what has been provided, releasing the grasping of attainment and achievement, turning from past hurts and regrets to accepting where the day has landed and living full into it, feet on the ground (or the treadles) and working with the fabric of the day for its own sake.

Letting life be for now doesn’t mean I won’t paint the wheel in future. Taking a detour into fabrics for now won’t mean that I have to make this my new main artistic medium. Who knows what might come of it? That isn’t my concern today. My job is to make a space for joy, grace, and presence in all that I am given just as it is in this moment.

For Now…I am alive.

For Now…I am content.

For Now…there is grace and mercy in abundance whether the spinning wheel gets painted or a quilt gets made…or not.

**As always, I enjoy your thoughts and comments here. Feel free to dialogue about this and how it strikes you, for now. 🙂

15 thoughts on “For Now

  1. Mom says:

    Jennifer,
    Loved the post you sent to Dad. Please. Please include me in the ones you send to him. He thinks that is a good idea too since I end up hearing them from him. We are still enjoying the memories from the birthday celebration. What a joy-filled day! We added to it last night with a wonderful time with the Collins Clan.
    Come on up anytime you can and much love to all of you including the furry entertainment !

    Much love to all, Mom

  2. Katie says:

    Thank you. This is so beautiful. I have printed it out and posted it on my design wall. It makes me smile, relax and enjoy. Thank you, again, Jennifer.

  3. Phyllis Alden says:

    Jennifer
    You have always been my best friend who I’ve never met face to face. You inspire without pressure. That is such a tangible daily gift, for which I am most grateful to you. All is well. For me, I’m learning to play the folk harp. It’s something I began many years ago, and then had to put down. I’m loving every moment even through the struggles.. Also soon I’ll begin to crochet my first sweater with my daughter’s help.
    Just wanted to check in, and say how wonderful it is to see how your creative spirit continues to expand and bloom.
    Take good care
    Phyllis

    • Jennifer Edwards says:

      Hi Phyllis! Is always good to hear from you! I’m so glad you are enjoying the harp and crochet! All the best as you begin to make a garment…that is so fabulous! I pray that you continue to be healthy and find beauty in each day! Thank you friend for your presence here.

  4. Jill Ruskamp says:

    I say “for now” all of the time! I’ve told my family that we should have it added to my tombstone…here she lies…’for now’. Ha! I absolutely love how you dove in to the each of the two simple words. Such a good post!! (I have been way behind in reading blogs and won’t actually “catch up” but so happy I came back to this one!)

    • Jennifer Edwards says:

      Thank you so much Jill! I too am woefully behind in keeping up with others’ blogs. I am truly grateful for your visit to read this one. I’m glad to know I have a fellow comrade in living “for now”.

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