There comes a point in every creative project where the Startitis has worn off.  I’m sure you are familiar with Startitis: that flush of excitement over a new idea, gathering supplies, beginning with abandon!  I have serious problems with Startitis.  My drawers and closets are filled with projects begun…many of them are knitting projects (I wonder why that is?  Crochet I seem to get to the end of more frequently)…and often a painting or drawing languishes on the easel when Startitis has worn off.  Such is the above charcoal of my youngest, begun oh, several months ago.  I was excited about working in charcoal on this lovely paper-it goes on like velvet-and I loved working the face of my little girl.  I had such hopes of documenting the process so I could show you how one of my charcoal drawings evolve…here’s the first photo I took:

Startitis begins to wane when problems arise.  Something isn’t going so well. The eyes were giving me fits…I started over several times on that left eye, got frustrated, decided to “think about it a day or so” and that turned into several months.  Yikes.

And so now, I’m in desperate need of Stick2itiveness.  Endurance.  Fortitude.  Focus.  Determination.  I also have a lovely ripple blanket languishing in a basket in my living room.  I did pick it up the other day and worked a row or two wondering why I hadn’t gotten to this, it’s so much fun!  But holidaying and such demanded I leave it alone again, and there it sits.

Life is a lot like this for me.   My creative life for sure is a record of “Ooh, I want to make that…oh, and that, ooh, and that too!”  But even everyday life things have the first blush of startitis wear off and need stick2itiveness…laundry, cleaning the house, teaching, shuttling kids around, etc.  Problems arise, or life happens, and whatever has been clicking along happily begins to get bogged down.  When I face a new year, my temptation is to think of all the “new” things I’d like to accomplish or tackle in the  New Year.  This year, I think I shall resolve to do some “finishing”.

Our family has embarked on a new life of blood sugar checking, insulin shots, and carb counting.  I think we are still in the startitis phase…at least, I’m still buoyed up by seeing how all this regimen is giving Maddie health and vitality.  But we have hit some rough patches…days where Maddie and I both are needing encouragement to keep up the routine.  On these days we need all the endurance and stick2itiveness we can muster.  One thing I know well about myself, is that I can very quickly use up all my own supply of stick2itiveness.  I have to look to Someone Else and lean on loved ones near me to find the strength to see something to its end.  This too, I am resolving to be better about in 2010: abiding and receiving…abiding in a Strength that is not my own and receiving help from others who offer.

I’m thankful that this Life is not all up to me.  Maybe my creative projects are…although actually I have received help and endurance for those things as well!  I just have to be open to it.  So, welcome 2010…come what may: exciting starts, languishing endeavors, pushing forward to the end; I face what You have for me with gladness and I’m hoping for an extra dose of Stick2itiveness.

0 thoughts on “Stick2itiveness

  1. susan says:

    Hurrah for you! Worthy goals each and every one. Your charcoal sketch should easily engage your enthusiasum early in the new year, your crochet should, perhaps be tackle a few rows at a time so that it can remain enjoyable and the ongoing health of your baby…well that is so up and down isn’t it? The learning curve for all of us with our little grand-daughter now 7 (diagnosed at 22mo and doing so well)has been steep. They are brilliant at tuning in to their bodies needs very often and you will recognize signs as well. When our little sweetie gets fractious we now know to have her check her sugars. And grains really do stick with her the longest on a school morning. Good luck and a happy new year to you.

  2. nancy t says:

    Lovely drawing and beautiful blanket. The challenge of the sugar issue is big, but not insurmountable and you are not alone with it. Susan is right about the learning curve – but you are motivate and involved. You will all do fine. Take care and Happy New Year! nancy

  3. Shirley says:

    Such an important topic for all of us to deal with. I get bogged down as soon as the project starts to be a problem and getting over that takes more psychic energy than I have at that moement and the project just sits there. Then feeling guilty and worrying about the unfinished project takes more mental space and energy than if I just said, it is only paper, only fabric, and it is OK if it isn’t perfect – move on! Roz Stendahl once wrote (exact words and attribution uncertain), “How much could I accomplish today if I let go of perfection?” I wrote down the comment and look at it all the time.

  4. Phyllis says:

    Your posts always touch something essential. Like you, I find myself hugely enthusiastic, then waning. Your portrait is absolutely lovely, and you have the essential. Richard Schmid wrote “less is more”… this hardly needs much to be complete. So what does it matter if it sits a year, even two? Will it be any less beautifully done then? no. Are you familiar wtih the drawings of Nicolai Fechin? or have you heard of the book titled “Refuse to Choose” – it’s written to honor those of us she calls Scanners. You might find it an easy read and of interest. Thank heavens for routine, because necessaries eventually become just a part of your daily fabric. How joyous to watch your daughter’s health return, that gray veil lift to show the glow again. This is such a joyous beginning to 2010.

  5. Johanna says:

    Oh how I recognize this, I too need a dose of stick2itiveness! Ithought about you the other day when mymother told me about à film she’d seen about diabetes, called something like “the cure for diabetes”. She Said it was very good, and even though I know they say there’s not really à cure it might still be interesting to see. I don’t know, but I still wanted to tell youabout it.

    All the best for the new year!

  6. Raena says:

    Ditto Johanna! I also need help in this area! Maybe it is something, a quirk, in our personalities, but that quirk may also be what drives us to be artists. Well, at least I am hoping that is what it is! I don’t like to think of the other reasons for it!

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