Recently, I’ve realized a nasty habit: I complain a lot. You might be surprised at this. But if you heard the tape that runs in my head some days, or if you asked my husband…you’d hear an awful lot of grumbling. Laundry, dishes, dust, work, busyness, crazy drivers, not enough of this, too much of that, etc. The list goes on and on. A couple of weeks ago I was freshly awakened to this wearisome tape. Funny, how you also realize… that you’ve realized this about yourself before! Yeesh!
My thoughts went something like this: Ugh! There it is again! Complain, complain, complain! I’m sick of hearing myself complain! And now I’m even complaining that I’m a complainer! How will I be rid of this? It seems like it’s part of who I am… But surely not. Perhaps it’s not woven into the fabric of my being…perhaps it’s like a blankie I keep carrying around with me, the way a too old child carries around his/her blankie from infanthood. Well, if that’s the case…I can throw away the grumble blankie!! And so I did!
It felt great! To visually and purposefully dump that nasty, sucked-on-forever blanket I’d been nursing. But I felt I really ought to put something in its place…get rid of something yucky and replace it with something positive. And this image came to mind. I’ll trade my grumble blankie for a drawing pen! Drawing enables me to refocus the grumbling to embracing the life that I have. Yes. and Yes.
I went to sleep that night content with this little drawing and with the thought of that grumble blankie in the trash can. But the next morning, I swear that blankie must’ve crawled out of the trash can and inched its way up to my room as I slept. Oi! Darned if I didn’t start off…”ugh..it’s too early!…i didn’t get much sleep…how can anybody be expected to function on 5 hours of sleep????? grumble, grumble, grumble.”
And so, I’m finding I have to throw that darn blankie away every morning. Truth be told, I have to do it several times a day! Good Grief. But at least it drives me to pick up my pen and draw…draw the life that I am really truly thankful for…
…even if I grumble about it. 🙂