What I Want

8 am. The first day of 2012.

I’m sitting here in my usual morning spot, reading, thinking, writing, gazing out the window onto my back yard and the street as it leads further into our neighborhood.  What do I want this year? I typically shun the list-making of “things I want to do/accomplish” as it seems too superficial, too bland in the face of the gravity and richness of a dawning New Year.  Besides all the eating healthy, drawing and being creative, loving my family and friends, shedding a few pounds…there’s something  more I want.  Something more.  It seems intangible… though the solidity of it, whatever it is, is palpable and real.  What do I really want behind all this “stuff”? My eyes turn from paper to window.

And I see it.  A shaft of light from the rising east. The sun dawns from one end of our street and makes its way piercingly, solidly down the lane transforming all it touches.  On my side of the street, where the sun cannot yet reach, it’s a frozen tundra.  Frost everywhere and night’s darkness still lingering.  The other side of the street the light transforms lawns into an unearthly green and glows off house fronts as if they were jewels.  The Light tips objects here and there.  It’s full of promise: sparkles and shards of warmth, of transformation, of becoming.

This is what I want.  More of the Light creeping into my Life transforming all it touches.  More of its warmth and transforming Beauty no matter how healthily I eat, no matter how much I get to draw and be creative, no matter how well I love others or how many pounds I shed.  I want to walk in this Light.  I want to look for the Light.  To SEE the places it is touching and transforming. To be infused with the Light and so to be changed from within.

This is my New Year hope, desire, and assurance.

Let us walk in the Light together in 2012!

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